I am in a strange mood... A couple of days ago I felt that there was no end to the cleaning. And now I see the end... I am filled with a feeling of both joy and horror. I have been having this hanging over my head for so long now that I wonder how I am going to react when it is finally done... What will it feel like? How will I react? It has been sort of like a symbol for the cleaning inside. A symbol of the old way I have lived my life... I don't know how I will react. One thing I am proud of is that I said I do it and I am doing it. That shows a will that is about to be healed.
Of course, cleaning never really ends does it... There is such a thing as maintaining the cleanness;) I guess that's why I find it so incredibly boring. The constant repetition of the same thing... What is fun with that, eh:)
It really is nice to see that all my labour is bearing some kind of fruits. I kind of like it. I have done a little every day and I am seeing that maybe by next week I can see an end to the worst))) I love it and am kinda looking forward to seeing what is on the other side of it...
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2 comments:
Well, in a way there are some who continually maintain the cleanness.
For me, other than cleaning toilets and the like, I rather like the look of dust. hehehe. . .
It's great you're seeing an end!!! Just imagine how this is going to liberate you from all those fears!!! It already is, really. . .
Sorry I haven't been online to talk. I've been rather down and trying to drastically clean. So for a while I had things on my bed and no where except the floor to sit. Tonight I found the plug for the laptop and finally got online. hehe. . .
Miss you. . .
At least the buzz thing got you started;)
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