Ornaments

Oh yeah, I wanted to show you these two pictures:


The first is from Urnes Stave Church, the latter from the Oseberg ship. As you see the tradition is passed from the Viking ship to the doorframe from the Stave church from the 1130s. The Viking ship is from 8th to 9th century I think or there about. It was found as part of a great burial of a woman. You see the animal ornament in the stave church that has gotten the name Urnes-style. Just thought you might find it interesting))

I just realised that for the past three weeks, the summer saving time thingy made the Oprah and Eckhart thing one hour earlier here... Now that we have caught up with you, it is back to starting at 3 am. That is late. But the chapter about pain-body is too good to miss))) It's always something to learn. I hope I get to buy the paperback version in London since it has not yet come here. I need to continue on this journey, because I am actually seeing the "light" here:)

It is strange, but I feel like I have found the last piece to the puzzle. I sit here listening, and I understand more and more about why and what I react to. The challenge is of course to try to stay in the Now, and find Presence. I am looking forward to the challenge of being in London in 10 days with my mom. How will my pain-body/ego react, and why does it react so strongly? It is going to be work and pleasure so to speak)) Interesting challenge:)

It is one hour into the web cast now, and I am getting tired))) I am getting ready for sleep, half an hour left. I will have to see if I remember anything from today tomorrow, maybe watch some of it again. I hope they keep the web cast on the website since I will miss two classes... That is actually the only sad thing about going to London, and of course that I am going to miss Nicky like crazy:)

Tate Britain

I hope to see these paintings and more "live" when I go to London)))

Need I say more!! I am actually going to London! Not just talk this time. We bought the airplane tickets today!! I am very excited about this))) We are actually staying for 10 day))))

This is the view from my window tonight. Not very funny at all... It is freezing outside. I am sad:)

"I don't want to write for people's minds," she said. "I want to reach their hearts."

It is such an exciting time. Have you notice how the same message about something beyond our so-called regular, ego-driven selves are arising? Something is happening in the world, that's for sure. Because when I was your age, the knowledge and information was a lot less than it is today. There is a shift going on, around the world. Over 2 millions have watched the A New Earth class. It might seem like a small drop in the ocean, but if you think about the effect like rings in the water, the effect can be enormous.

I find that when I read about the ego, the more I understand that I have been more driven by it then I thought. I would even take it as far as to understanding why I have had trouble dealing with certain things in my life. The great part is that now I don't have any excuses. I have a different way of looking at it and maybe recognising it when it happens, should I become upset, angry or whatever, I can take a step back and think about why it is that I hang on to those feelings and what good they do me and then I can release them.

I gave myself a present yesterday. I bought a cd, the first one of 2008, and the honour went to none other than Michael Bublé. As I went down to my dentist appointment I listen to "Feeling good" and that was just exactly what I was feeling. I wanted to go dancing in the streets to be honest. And I thought why not, I want to by his latest cd, and I found it. And I have been listening to it. He's got an amazing voice that reaches right into my heart. I just love listening to him.

Today, I am celebrating four months of morning pages! Yeah, congratulations to me. I've managed to eat breakfast more or less one to three hours after I wake in the morning. I take my vitamins and omega-3 with my glass of orange juice, and I've added water to my list. Baby steps towards a healthier life. Next will be some small scale exercising. And I am not obsessing so much about writing. I have let go of it. I mean the obsessing, not the writing. I wrote a few lines today, that might lead somewhere... Maybe to a poem or something.

Step into the circle of light,
let me fly away into the night.
I can't make you see what I see,
but I will tell you about what's in my heart.
Rest easy in the arms of love,
let the sacred be a friend and not the enemy,
release the grievances you carry
and let all illusions die away.

It is only a beginning and very much a result of all the reading and listening I have been doing lately. Of course our writing will be reflecting what we are going through in our lives. It certainly is a great time. It's like falling in love with life again. And maybe even myself, though that will be a process:) I am my worst enemy right;)

I love sitting listening to Oprah and Eckhart live from Chicago. It is incredible to think that so many people sit at their computers listening and going into it at the same time. I love going into this material, becoming more aware of my own ego and thought-processes. We really are awakening. I am tired though))) But it is worth it. I guess now I have to go and let it sink in.

I did experience a sense of presence today, walking to the subway, just looking around me and looking. Not thinking it was trees, but watching how it was against the sky, looking at the colours and so on. And feeling my body. And gripping the metal handle, feeling the cold metal against my hand. I couldn't help smiling. It really is a good feeling:)

There are so many aha moments ahead. I can feel it))) And a feeling of this is it. It is really happening)))

The suffering I have felt doesn’t need to be. In this exact moment, what do I feel? I don’t feel like I am suffering right now, so am I suffering then?

How do I teach myself to live in the now? When I think about it, the more I understand that I am living either in the past or in the future. I worry about this that has already happened, or about things that has not yet passed. If I am afraid that I will fail in the future, will I not set myself up to fail?

There are so many thoughts in my mind right now. I am feeling that I might have a breakthrough any day. It just feels like I have to dig deeper and deeper. I don’t know what will happen at all, but I am willing to give it a chance. I will see what happens and if I actually will be able to set the past and future free…

I thought maybe I could try to post something I have written during the day here. I don't care if it is good or bad, but I like the idea to sort of validate what I do, and putting it out there, is a good thing. I like having made the decision to write more than just the morning pages. And I want to paint a little every day. Just do what I want to do in the future. Sort of bringing the future into the present...


Life is movement.
I feel like a stranger in a vortex,
caught between worlds,
stuck in limbo.
I can’t go forward,
but I can’t move backwards either.
I fall into realms
where I have never been before,
where anything can happen.
Life is movement.
It is a beginning,
a journey into myself.
I am willing to let go of the pain,
letting go of the happiness,
letting go of everything,
because nothing is as I think it is…

The Realms of the Imagination

I wrote this on February 27 as part of my write everyday plan. Just thought I would start of March on my blog.

This is what life is about, going on different journeys, discovering new things about the world and myself. I love to ponder on what the meaning of life is. All exciting things that show themselves is without a doubt worth all the pain and suffering. It has given me so much more depth in the way I live. But the time for theory is to go over to the time of action. I am developing my own philosophy.

The landscape is always changing. It is like a world of its own, somewhere that I can explore. A world… My fantasy world… I have seen a clearing. It has always felt like my way in… Like a portal is hidden there that takes me from this reality to my realms of imagination… So what do I do with this?

There are fortresses, castle, palaces, temples, mountains, rivers, oceans, plains, forests, cities, villages, towns, all kinds of things there. Everything that make up civilizations…

I am going to travel the whole distance. I promise myself that. I am going to explore the realms of my imagination every day or at least as much as possible. Exactly how I am going to go about it, I don’t know… It is impossible to say, because I am still in recovery, but at least I will give myself the promise to try as much as possible. And try it every single day. There will be something that comes out of it, and by the end of a period I can go through it and see if there is anything that I can use…

I cannot hesitate anymore. I have no other choice than to follow my intuition, and that is telling me that words and images are my destiny. But it is so hard to believe it. It still is. I cannot see it in my future, and yet I feel so. Maybe it is because the future is not completely set… I might be heading for that or the rest of my life will be spent in fear. I don’t want that…