We can make peace happen.

New book

This made me think: You have to lose yourself first, to find yourself again.

I found it in a book I have not been able to forget. It is unfortunately in norwegian. Because the author is Norwegian. It's called "Underneath the Northern Cross - an apocalypso" (Under Nordkorset - en apokalypse). I love these kind of channeled novels. Like the Silent Stones by Diana Cooper. The kind of novels that shows me fantastic stories that sounds more like fantasy but that triggers a what if... That makes me think that we human beings only can only understand a fragment of the universe. It triggers something deep inside of me, that makes me believe that there are some sort of greater plan for our lives.

Something in me feels that this book might give me something. What exactly that is going to be, I don't know yet. It goes back to the time of Atlantis and says that there was a highly developed civilization in Norway, more correctly in the northern parts of Norway at that time. I don't know... But it is lovely to think that there are some deeper reason to why things are the way it is. Maybe this violent times we live in is something much deeper than what we can understand. Maybe looking at the world's governments are too easy... Just playing with thoughts really, but there is something deep inside of me that says maybe all this violence is what happens before a big change is due, the old fighting to stay alive... Isn't that what often happens to us when we fight change. We hold on to old beliefs and patterns even though we know they are not good for us and they only hurt us. I believe the Dalai Lama is right when he says that the only revolution left for us to do, is a spiritual on. I have also about us approaching a change. I know Diana Cooper have talked about 2012.

If you're interested and don't think it too much out there, I'll keep you posted on what my findings are:) It's about shamans, past lives and recovering parts of your soul;)

A much better day today. Not that I have done so much, but I did one thing. We talked about doing what fell into our mind, and I did it today. I thought about buy a rose as I passed a flowerstore, and turn back and did so. I had a conversation with the lady behind the counter and it ended with her asking what I did. And I said I was an artist. And it felt so true. It didn't feel like a lie. I could have said that I was unemployed and all. But I said I was an artist. That is a good thing. I did say it with a little hesitation, but I said it. It made all the difference this day really.

I did my morning pages too, began week three of them. Oh, and I am going to Copenhagen again. Staying over for a night. That is something I am definitely looking forward to. Hopefully it will give me a little breather in the otherwise monotonous life of me. In Tivoli there is going to be a Christmas market and it sounded that it was going to be other stuff going on to... Christmasy stuff. Maybe I will get in the Christmas spirit for the first time in a long time... I guess that I just think that it has become too commercial really. The shops begin Christmas over a month before... In two week, you grow sick of the whole thing...

Listening a lot to U2 and Linkin Park these days... At least on my MP3 player... I guess I am looking for lyrics with some meaning and that has a certain drive... What else has happened today... Oh yeah, one of the norwegian alpine skiers, Aksel Lund Svindal fell badly in Beaver Creek today, in downhill training... Not that it matters, but it made my heart stop for a second, because I do like some sport a little, and funnily enough it is everything that has to do with skiing. Last time I had skis on my feet was in 1994:) And then I practically walked, only with skis... No gliding at all:) Well, anyway, the point is that he's a nice guy and there has been fatal accidents in downhill... Just hope that he is okay:)

Ah, tomorrow is your decision time;) Good luck again))) You will make the right choice))) Don't worry so much. And if you can't decide, put them up on a wall and shot dartarrows and see where they land and take the course))) Probably a little happy go lucky:) But still a method... Take care...

I know I should try to write something. But it is rather difficult too. Goodness I talked to you until almost 10 am last night (morning for me;). But I got to write that email that I have thought about writing for almost two weeks. That was a good thing.

I haven't really done anything today. Been sleeping late, until 3pm and did my morning pages which was more like afternoon pages, really. I watched the second episode of Jane Eyre. And I have just finished watching Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason. Love those movies... So as you can see I haven't been up to anything much at all... Rather boring day. But I thought at least I should tell you how boring it is... Since it is now approaching 5 am (I don't know how I am ever going to get to bed before 4 am...), I should be off to bed. Going to read a couple of chapters in The Witch of Portobello and maybe have a couple of dreams))) Take care



Couldn't let an opportunity go by... If you don't have anything to say, post a picture)) Be sure to let me know how the decision-making went)))

Easier to run

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Lyrics by Linkin Park

I was just sitting here and suddenly these words came to me among others, but I thought they might mean something to you...

Sometimes the silence is what must be. Because only through silence can you really learn how to listen.

The Lord of the Rings Marathon!!

You won't believe it!! They are putting on all three LOTR movies on Colosseum tomorrow night!! All of them!! In the cinema again!! Oh my)) And I am going!!! Alone of course))) But I am sooooo looking forward to it... I wish I could see them with you tomorrow, but that would be very expensive tickets;)

I AM GOING THERE AND BACK AGAIN TOMORROW!!!

I loved this passage in The Artist's Way:

Blocked artists are not lazy. They are blocked.

I think before I can move on with anything in my life, I need to get unblocked. I kinda do everything half-heartedly nowadays. And I think the reason I am so damn tired all the time is creativity unused. Sort of feels like everything I want to do is stuck inside of me and never gets recycled, and it is making me unhealthy and leaving me feeling depressed and totally out of connection with anything I am doing. I am always finding excuses for not doing anything. I don't know what I am afraid of either. Maybe the responsibility... Because it is responsibility in getting unstucked and unblocked. Well, anyway. I do think that blocked creativity can be dangerous.

Have you thought about that? I mean there must be some reward we are giving ourselves by not doing anything about our situation. I say ours because even though our situations are quite different, I do think there is a lot of similarities too.

I am leaving everything I do unfinished. I even have difficulty doing these 4 test to finish my computer course... Everything half-heartedly... I can barely get myself out of bed. I will of course do them, but I am using the tests as a delaying thing for not having to continue getting out into the world. I just love sitting at home doing my thing way too much, and I can't decide if it is because I am suppose to or if it is a kind of weird escape of some sort...

I actually thinking I am coming down with a flue or something... At least that should be an excuse that other people would understand:D