There was this fireworks today downtown, but I was standing up at Vålerenga kirke which is quite high up so we got some view of it, but not too much, but I got to take a picture with the firework mode on my camera))) One good picture)) I bet it would have been better if I was close by. It was like something cultural night with lots of arrangement all around Oslo. Didn't go to any of them unfortunately. I should probably have gone on a ghost trail or something)) Maybe next year))

Other than that, I went for a coffee with Marianne (she says hi by the way) at the park in the neighbourhood. It's so nice to know someone that lives just a little down the road. No need for transportation or anything to meet up. Just a message on the computer, and voila))) So I've soaked up some sun today))) I've been somewhere like every single day this week))) Oh yeah, and Wanted was well somewhat violent, not just somewhat. It was like bang bang hit hit like 90% of the movie. Not the best movie I've seen, but Angelina Jolie is like the coolest woman ever and James McAvoy is cute as ever)) A very antihero in a way))) And I like the ending)) Something like "I've taken control of my life, what have you done lately?" Funny. But it was kinda messy in every sense of the word)) Bloody, with a rather thin plotline than never really lead to anything, only an excuse to be violent. Could have been so much more, but oh well. Too bad.

The other day I got a nice image while writing:
Image: A wooden cabin in the forest. Small. And when I set into it, there is a table, a chair pull up against it and on that table is a lantern on the left side and on the right, a feather pen and a bottle of ink and in the middle a leather bound book with empty pages. The table is set against a window. It's a writers table. It's my table

Yesterday I thought about how I can perhaps use that if I am getting stuck one day as sort of a meditation. Closing my eyes and picturing myself sitting down at that table and imagining sitting down and writing and seeing what might appear on the blank pages. It is good to keep with me at least. It was a very vivid image.



The cabin was build with this kind of technique (lafting). I guess a little bit of what you can find in stave churches))) It has only one room. One window and the door in the other end. Like one small bed, that table and that's about it...

All I am doing right now, is yawning. Too much fresh air))) Had a walk after seeing the fireworks for about an hour or something. I am going to bed)))

Funny Gwen Stefani... and a Ninja

I think I might be late tonight, and since planning on turning off computer, I will write a few lines just to leave you with something. First a picture:) I haven't compared them yet to see if like 5 days makes any difference))

The other thing is that I feel that finally my creativity is taken serious. I mean, that they can see that it means a lot to me. I got the question, Do you see yourself living off your writing? I was like Yeah, I do. I guess that is a major pluss. It took some time, but better late than never)))

I am getting ready and writing in between. Waiting for my mom to call and say that she is on her way to the train station. And that would mean I had to get out of here, so I best be ready for that call:) Urgh, it is the time of year that I have to have a jacket or I'll freeze to death when the sun goes down, probably is cold already. I guess today shouldn't be too hard. A black jacket I am guessing... Or maybe not... I'll probably rush out and just grab something.

I am thinking that when I get home tonight, I will sit down and write. The cool thing is that I can try to empty myself. Like I don't have to think about not having to go to sleep, because I am not going anywhere tomorrow, but at least write for one hour, anything after that is fine. Maybe (and hopefully) the movie will trigger some thoughts other than how bad the movie was:) Maybe there will be something interesting there... And maybe there is another side to James McAvoy, of course, yes, he is cute as a faun:) Nah, that reminds me in Prince Caspian, when Lucy realizes that many hundred years have past, and she whispers Mr Tumnus... At some point I also think you hear the Narnia Lullaby very faintly in the background...

Oh yeah, I was cruzing the internet sites about the Hobbit a couple of days ago. Really nervous to find out who's going to play Bilbo. And I found a good canditate in one of them, but of course, I do not remember his name now, and don't have time to find out, but remind me later to find out who he is:) There was someone who had suggusted Gerald too:) I think it was for Bard (if he's human:)). Doesn't matter which role, I would so like to see him in Middle-earth))) Viggo is saying that he is on for the role as Aragorn again too))) Which is a relief. Wow, how good would Viggo and Gerald be side by side in Middle-earth:)) That would be like dream come true. Think about that now:) I'll leave you with that pleasant thought)))

I am soooo tired now)) Not used to being social all the time and getting up so early))) It takes its toll)) Hopefully it will get better:) Painting was good. You'll get a look on Saturday:)

I walked home and walked through a botanical garden by the Munch museum. Nice pictures)) I am so sorry, but today will be a picture blog. I am going to bed as fast as possible. Oh yeah, going to the movies tomorrow. Wanted at Colosseum 1:) Yeah, the big theatre)))







Last pictures is me waving to you: Hello:)) I have more picturs for Saturday))) Just to say that I haven't been all productive, and we did promise to do a slug each day))) Can't leave you empty handed))) Take care)))

Just sent an angry email to the tv company that is sending So you think you can dance? All of a sudden they have begun to cutting the show, and dropping out dancers and the group dance... I am to put it mildly pissed:)

Anyways...It's almost impossible to get my head into the mood of writing now. All I can think about is bed. And it's just a quarter past 11! Yes, I have been at pilates and yoga class today, and I walked to and from classes. But it was beautiful sunny weather today, and warm enough for me to go in a t-shirt, so I shouldn't really complain. It has been a good day.

And I managed to write yesterday as well. Eight whole pages.There is a lot about how it feels to sit down to write and how I feel (you know, get rid of the junk), but I thought I would try to bring something else to the paper too. I usually put on my MP3 player when I write. I like getting the music straight into me, so to speak. And I started listening to a song from the first Narnia soundtrack, and I thought, yes, I want to listen to some of the song from that soundtrack, because it had the mood I wanted in a way, so I did. Just to try to get out of the junky talk. I programmed Evacuating London, The Wardrobe, Lucy meets Mr. Tumnus, and From Western Woods to Beaversdam. They conveyed the exact mood I wanted:)

The wonderment of images that float by. I can only accept them. The need to create stories is as strong as it's ever been before. The flickering of my candle puts me in touch with my imagination as does the music I listen to, and the night outside my window.

It's all about the wonderment, about seeing something for the first time and not labelling it. Finding the curiosity that makes each step light and doesn't weight me down. Like wandering through a forest. The tall trees, heavily crowned with leaves that shimmer the light above down on me. It makes me feel happy. Joyous even. Leaving me with a feeling of coming home.

If I close my eyes I can see myself there. I can hear the laughter of children running through the forest, with arms stretched out like they are taking flight. The beauty of innocence, still able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. It reminds me of how often I want to do the same when I walk among people. How beautiful the clouds are up there high above our heads. Have you looked at the clouds lately? How they are never the same? Look at that particular cloud! It's getting dark and it's almost black. But underneath a faint ruby colour is still visible. In a minute it will be gone. Forgotten. And the sunset. What if it was the last sunset ever? How many would have missed it?

I am thinking about trying the same thing tonight, just to see if I can capture something. Repeat it over and over again (I know I want grow tired of that music no matter how many times I listen:)) You know, I had a little moment of pure joy today:) After the classes, me and Marianne walked down to a cafe and we sat there in the sun, drinking coffee. It felt that for a moment, life stood still. I was in the now, living at that exact moment, no thoughts of past or future, just enjoying that sun in my face. It was nice)))

I am a Skald

I've been out all day with a potential exercise partner. Her name is Marianne and we've hit it off. Must have since we spent almost 6 hours together, talking and laughing and walking. It was really nice. Meeting new people can be a positive experience. But of course, that makes little time for much thinking, which I guess, is a good thing.

I am tired now. You know when you are like burning in your face, but I at least look healthy in a way. Not grey in the face. I think I need sort of like a shift in my mind. I cannot sit at home all day. It just isn't possible. I have to take a deep breath and just change the way I think about how to structure my days. After writing my blog and turning off my computer yesterday, I actually managed to write 7 pages!! And that within an hour! I thought I had gone through five, and was really surprise. I enjoyed every minute of it, feeling the pen moving more freely across the page. Just think that I had problems writing my three morning pages in one hour just 6 months ago. It makes me feel proud)))

I am all for sitting down tonight and see if it goes just as good. Turning off the light, and lighting a candle, putting on some music and just enjoy myself. Unfortunately I haven't been able to do much more than eating:) It has been a lovely day with autumn sun, warm enough to go without a jacket (which is absolutely beautiful in my eyes), hopefully the weather will be lovely tomorrow also))) I know that I am not going to be able to sit for a long time, so the trick is to turn of both the tv and computer at latest at midnight. I am sure I will be able to do so. Ah, listening to Gerry on my MP3... Nice:D Very nice indeed.
Hopefully I will be able to remember a photography of the trees outside tomorrow:)

I did this after I had posted it, and thought that you might like it))) What kind of Viking are you:) Surprise)) I am a Skald... LOL

Your result for The Viking Age Persona Test...

Skald

FOLLOWER - SPIRITUAL - PEACEFUL - EDUCATED

Skalds are the Norse equivalent to bards, or possibly minstrels. They are the ones responsible for over half of what we now know about Scandinavian culture, royalty and mythology today, for they passed down their lore by word of mouth and song from generation to generation until Snorri Sturlusson of Iceland wrote down the Eddas in the 13th century.

Skalds were gifted poets with quick tongues who flattered kings with their art, and occasionally the kings themselves would be known as skalds (or else!). Skalds were highly respected for their wit and intelligence, and in some folklore, they were said to know of events happening in far off lands as they were happening.

Take The Viking Age Persona Test at HelloQuizzy

The trees outside my window project...

It is really autumn now. Look at the leaves on the trees outside my window... Would be nice to see the changes it goes through. If I remember to do it, I think it would be fun to see the changes it goes through... Like a little project... See how the tree changes from day to day...

Ah, I slept in late today. Really late, like criminally late. Thank goodness it was Sunday today, or I would have been in deep ****... It is nice to have a purpose with writing again. Just to decide not to have any specific thing to write is good for me, because I now have to decided to become really, really honest, and just go through the crap to get to the gems. And god knows I have some crap to get through. To actually allow myself to be honest and to dare to really write, not just about how horrible I write and that I really have nothing to write, because we both know that is the worst crap I need to get through. Like cleaning it away from my mind, a little speck of dust at a time. Little by little freeing my pen from the ego, you could say perhaps.

I am going to write for a while before I go to bed, just to sit down and write perhaps for half an hour or something, to see what happens. It is going to be fun. And hopefully I will be up to the task tomorrow, and start all over again. I like it)))))



Here is what I have been painting on today. It looks horribly alike other paintings I have started on. I guess I am going to try to take it to the next level. Don't know what it is yet, but maybe tomorrow it will look different... I guess we have to wait and see what happens. I am going to start to take my camera with me Wednesdays. I like to record the processes my paintings go through. Good reminder.

Some news: I have started a paintclass on Wednesdays))) From 10am to 2pm, I can paint or do art and have a teacher or maybe more like "guide" there. It was my first time today, and I am sure it will help me on my way.

And on Tuesdays, I am going to have to classes, one pilates and one yoga class. My tummy hurts now:D Which is a good thing. And other various parts of my body:)

Trying to figure out how to cope with a more active life:) *Sigh* Probably won't be too easy)))

Learn to be still...

I think I've come to some kind of conclusion. Before I can do anything that resembles fiction, I think I need to get a free from the blockage I have had for so many years. I don't think my psyche is ready for a fictional novel at all. I think I need to write about what is in front of me first. Or maybe more, make it as simple as possible. I need to learn how to write simple before I can make it complicated. If I don't it will just be a lot of confusing things that makes no sense, not to anybody, maybe not even to me:) I can feel that when I sit down and try to develop the idea I started with. Yes, I know a scene isn't that complicated, but when I try to develop it and put it into a context, I totally block out.

I don't think I am ready to put a name on it at all yet. I think I just need to write. Learn how to describe things around me. Just simply let go of all the boundaries that I have made such a part of my creative life. And when I can sit down and write effortlessly, really, really incorportated it into my daily life, then I think I am ready to write that novel I know I carry around. I am not putting it on any kind of shelf at all, I am just not going to develop it with a context, only write down scenes if I see it, any kind of scene, not making it into a single work or naming it, just writing down whatever it is that I might see when I close my eyes.

LEARN TO BE STILL AND LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE! That is what I want to learn for now. I want to start with five minutes each day perhaps, maybe even less. Maybe just start with getting a sentence for that matter. The baby steps all across my life. No rushing into anything at all just to "let myself down" and not being able to cope with anything and so on, and just end up beating myself down.

I think I need to slowly clear the space for my "new" life, or rather the life I really want to be in versus the life I have now. Now don't get me wrong, I like my life. I like that it is challenging me in ways I wouldn't be without. It makes it a more interesting and deeper life. There are so many things I want to explore and I will do it, I will dare to sit down and write about everything that is in my mind, get through the junk to get to the really good stuff. And I know it is there. So let the unfolding begin I say. And I think I have managed to do yet another good day with just the right amount of contemplation, and some writing too. Like, for example, I wrote for five minutes just trying to let go of the thinking, and I ended up writing about the mystery of life, what does it mean to be alive, to live a life. Not giving any answers, but it is interesting to me. I feel I am taking my writing seriously, maybe for the first time, I am feeling determined. I am not trying, I am doing it. (And of course the little devil of the inner critic whispers in my ear right away, telling me that it is just bullshit once again, give it two months and everything is back to "normal". We'll see about that, I say!)

I'm trying to sit down and write, but all I get is emptiness. Nothing comes to mind at all. I guess I need to complain a little bit. Get over the fright so to speak. I wonder how someone who wants to write so bad, gets nothing at all. It's like hitting into a wall, wanting to get to the other side of the wall, but not getting anywhere or anything (except a bump on the head).

I did write my usual journal kind of thing, and I did notice that I was very nasty to myself. I mean not calling myself names, but being on the negative side of myself, not really being there for me. I actually said that it was impossible. Of course I did correct myself, but still... There is a pattern there that I need to break. If not I am not getting anywhere with my life, especially not to the places I want to be. It will always be something that I am chasing after instead of actually believing that it is already here. The power of attraction... If I live with everything being impossible and that everything is going to stay the same, it will.

I don't really believe that I will ever be able to get anything at all onto the paper, anything that will take the form of a novel. That I think is what I think when I sit down to write, I have already given up in a way. It is not good at all. But writing it here, it gives a name to the problem. One name at least, and it sorts of break the spell I guess, because I know the monster now when I see it. And I can't do anything else than to work through it every day. It is what I am going to do first. Work through this, and just see what happens. I guess today have been rather productive even though I don't have anything else than this entry. At least I have looked at a problem and made it into a challenge for myself. And that ain't a bad start at all...

I've had a headache since monday evening, all the way through yesterday and it as only just let go now. Horrific really. I wonder why since there really isn't anything that should make it so. Hopefully that won't happen again anytime soon. A clue that something is wrong: I have gone to bed just past midnight two days in a row and slept for over 10 hours each night... I hope to go back to something more normal. Like getting up around 9 am. And still going to bed around midnight. Oh well, sometimes shit happens, right;) Tomorrow I hope to feel fine again.