Ah, I am finally feeling better. I am tired now because it is 2 am and not when it's only 2 pm. It is a wonderful feeling to actually have some energy in my body again. About time too))) Feel like I have been in a kind of cocon at least for 2 weeks now, but it feels a lot longer. A lot:)

I am about to sit down and do an hour of writing for tomorrow. Start the first chapter so to speak. And I've started to paint today. And I've cleaned a little bit. Thrown out at least three things;)

***

A little while later, and I have done my first "chapter". It is good really, and there is no way of knowing where it all will go. I have sat down to write first chapters before, so I guess the challenge for now is to get to 10 and then to 20:) Just to see where it all will lead me. It is a nice thought, and I am having a determination about it. Even though I have said "this time" before, one of those times has to be the moment when I get my act together, so why not believe that it is this time:) Keep the faith right))

It is warm outside, and I think I am in for a hot night. The cool night air reaches me where I am sitting now and it is caresses my arm. I think we are getting really hot weather tomorrow when it becomes almost unbearably hot inside, like when you shower in cold water, you get hot again in ten minutes:) That kind of weather. But I am going to love it all the same.

A certain cat just jumped up in my lap. Tickling my arm when he smells it. We are going to bed now))) I am going to continue to read New Moon. Getting to the end now and it is getting more intense))) Talk to you tomorrow)) Our first Inkling:) yeah!!

The human game

Another piece of paper I want to throw away. The lyrics are a song by Lisa Gerrard, from the album Duality. I think I have sent you the song...

Under the sun I call your name,
I revise your inner flame,
I who dare to come disguised
In the night of human eyes.

As we begin to unravel the veil
Of our visions vivid and pale
We recoil with invisible bliss
Loosing there the claim to the comfort of deaths
Predesigned quetioned in vain the soul remains
To tell it's tale vivid and pale of broken dreams.

Some where I'll find you inside the answer
When we remember who we can relay be
And there we will arrive hom
With all the answer's that fair to reason
All within our love.

Out of the pool into the flame
We do begin.
All of our love rises above
The human game.

Natural emotions

I found these on a piece of paper. I can't remember where I found it, but I want to throw away the paper, but not what is on it, so I write it here.

The natural emotions:

Grief - say goodbye
Anger - "No, thank you"
Envy - to try harder, striving until you succeed
Fear - caution, help the body to stay alive
Love - without conditions or limitations

I think it is the response to the emotions... It makes sense that it is the response.

What a day... I've had a headache all day... That puts a damper on things really:) It almost feels like a migraine... Though I doubt I would be able to stand up if it were...



This is the winner of our So you think you can dance? My favourite, so I am thrilled))) Mona is her name))) Ah, we had Mary Murphy as a guest judge today))) That was nice)))

Thought this might be nice to get here. The overview of different goddesses from Denise Linn's Secrets & Mysteries:

Aphrodite (Greek) – pleasure, creativity, marriage, femininity, sensuality, love, inner beauty, awakening inner passions, attracting lovers.
Artemis (Greek) – connection to nature, independence, courage, determination to reach goals, childbirth, new projects.
Athena (Greek) – intelligence, strategy, art, inner wisdom, creativity, protection.
Bast (Egyptian) – sensuous feline energy, focused and yet playful; celebration, self-containment, joy, ecstasy, your wild nature.
Black Madonna (Christian, but thought to be originally an African goddess) – primordial strength, passion, power.
Brigit (Celtic) – protection, gardening, fertility, healing.
Ceridwen (Celtic) – harvest, abundance, death and rebirth.
Corn Woman (Native American) – abundance, grounding, earthiness, fertility, deepening your connection to the earth.
Demeter (Greek) – nurturing of self and others, maternity, abundance, harvest, material riches, new possibilities.
Diana (Roman) – connection to nature, independence, bravery, standing on your own as a woman, reaching your goals, primal instincts.
Durga (Hindu) – great fortitude to overcome any and all obstacles, fighting spirit of a mother who protects her young.
Freya (Norse) – new directions in life, being grounded, sexual love and fertility, turning challenges into opportunities.
Hathor (Egyptian) – beauty, power, wisdom, fertility, abundance, prosperity, productivity, passion for life.
Hecate (Greek) – mystical experiences, ancient wisdom, healing abilities, inner magic, invisible realms.
Hera (Greek) – protection, material prosperity, the comfort of possessions, confidence, self-esteem, honest expression.
Hestia (Greek) – creating a home of beauty and grace, spirituality, enjoying solitude, being at home with yourself no matter where you are.
Inanna (Sumerian) – fertility, abundance, passion, self-sufficiency, accepting all aspects of yourself with compassion.
Ishtar (Babylonian) – forging forward with power, courage, joy and passion; sexuality, sensuality, voluptuousness, passion.
Isis (Egyptian) – mystical experiences, self-assurance, lifting out of negativity, mystical realms, intuition, inner light.
Kali (Hindu) – courage, releasing negative patterns, overcoming fear, indomitable spirit.
Kuan Yin (Asian) – compassion, mercy, tranquillity, serenity, repose, tenderness, receptivity, forgiveness.
Lakshmi (Hindu) – inner wealth, abundance, material prosperity, pouring out abundance to the community.
Lilith (Sumero-Babylonian) – unbridled passion, indomitable spirit, sexual pleasure, unabashed sexuality, taking a stand in life.
Mary (Christian) – compassion, intercession.
Medusa (Greek) – wild, untamed, unabashed vital life force, regeneration, healing abilities, breaking through personal barriers.
Minerva (Roman) – intelligence, wisdom, strategy, arts and crafts, wise choices in life, healing abilities, intuition.
Nut (Egyptian) – acceptance, death and rebirth, overview of life.
Persephone (Greek) – deepest inner realms, harmonising inner life with out life, maintaining hope amid despair, balance.
Rhiannon (Celtic) – inner wisdom, reaching into your depths.
Sarasvati (Hindu) – insight, healing musical abilities.
Selene (Greek) – dreams, the moon, divine feminine spirituality, receptivity, inner magic, receptivity to the gifts of the universe.
Sophia (Greek) – kindness, peace, joy.
Tara (Tibetan) – compassion, mothering skills, liberation.
Tlazolteotl (Aztec) – dissolving impurities within yourself, forgiving yourself, releasing guilt and shame, absolving the past.
Venus (Roman) – romantic love, connection to springtime, new growth, blossoming into womanhood, sacred sexuality.
White Buffalo Calf Woman (Native American) – connection to the earth, dignity, grace, balancing male and female energies.
Yemaya (African) – nurturing, abundance, protection for journeys across water, expanding your prosperity consciousness.

I feel the wind on my fingertips
a restless energy that spreads through me
bursting me open
cracking the stone shell
life is a dance
of beautiful movements
grace and power
sometimes there is no other choice
than to follow the rhythm
I become the wind

I am getting better again)) Certainly maybe the cold is letting go and the pollen is going away from the air (and on top of that I got my period today, which explains alot too;)). Today, after my dentist appointment (which was nothing short of horrible, and the worst is yet to come...), I went and bought three canvases, a strip off palette, and a painting knife (really needed a new one). I love a good bargin:) The three canvases came in a package for about $32. At least a good start on the project; you have to have the material to work with.

I walked down to the city today which I am glad I did. I haven't been outside walking in a long time. I hope I can get my body moving again.

Now for the writing... Pew, it is proving rather difficult to write. But I will get there, if not tonight, maybe tomorrow))) But I am going around it in my mind, trying to find plots and "nice" things to write about. I am not that worried, because it is a nice change to have one particular thing to focus on. That way my mind isn't spread over a hundred different things I could write about. I have decided to do the writing in the I-person. I've decided on a name for my main character. And a few other details:) I am in high spirits:) It is after all a project that is going to help us to focus more, and actually do what we set out to do. I don't expect miracles, so I am pleased that I have begun:)

I am having difficulties starting this story:) Not that I had ever thought it would be easy. Everything is going according to plan I guess. It is such a difficult step to take sitting down to write. I am pushing it before me. I don't think I have a grasp on what I want to write about. None whatsoever. I think I've started and deleted a hundred times now))) You are suppose to have some idea, right? lol... I am absolutely clueless...

I guess it will take some time to get the idea out. But I will not give up. Looking at old documents... I have not gotten far at all... Maybe because I have tried, but never really committed to it. I will try again tomorrow. I think you can only do so much. I have to decide on some things:)

This is still an important issue... And still something to think about... Love this add or whatever you can call it...

My thoughts goes out to the people in Burma that is suffering double, just because their leaders are power-sick people... Let us hope that the world will not stand down because of "playing nice"... The people of Burma needs food and medicine and clean water now... It is not time for politics. And to the people of China that has been affected by the earthquake.

And I guess it is time we still take to honour our commitment in ending extreme poverty sooner rather than too late...

Lord Byron - Solitude

To sit on rocks, to muse o'er flood and fell,
To slowly trace the forest's shady scene,
Where things that own not man's dominion dwell,
And mortal foot hath ne'er or rarely been;
To climb the trackless mountain all unseen,
With the wild flock that never needs a fold;
Alone o'er steeps and foaming falls to lean;
This is not solitude, 'tis but to hold
Converse with Nature's charms, and view her stores unrolled.

But midst the crowd, the hurry, the shock of men,
To hear, to see, to feel and to possess,
And roam alone, the world's tired denizen,
With none who bless us, none whom we can bless;
Minions of splendour shrinking from distress!
None that, with kindred consciousness endued,
If we were not, would seem to smile the less
Of all the flattered, followed, sought and sued;
This is to be alone; this, this is solitude!