I loved this passage in The Artist's Way:

Blocked artists are not lazy. They are blocked.

I think before I can move on with anything in my life, I need to get unblocked. I kinda do everything half-heartedly nowadays. And I think the reason I am so damn tired all the time is creativity unused. Sort of feels like everything I want to do is stuck inside of me and never gets recycled, and it is making me unhealthy and leaving me feeling depressed and totally out of connection with anything I am doing. I am always finding excuses for not doing anything. I don't know what I am afraid of either. Maybe the responsibility... Because it is responsibility in getting unstucked and unblocked. Well, anyway. I do think that blocked creativity can be dangerous.

Have you thought about that? I mean there must be some reward we are giving ourselves by not doing anything about our situation. I say ours because even though our situations are quite different, I do think there is a lot of similarities too.

I am leaving everything I do unfinished. I even have difficulty doing these 4 test to finish my computer course... Everything half-heartedly... I can barely get myself out of bed. I will of course do them, but I am using the tests as a delaying thing for not having to continue getting out into the world. I just love sitting at home doing my thing way too much, and I can't decide if it is because I am suppose to or if it is a kind of weird escape of some sort...

I actually thinking I am coming down with a flue or something... At least that should be an excuse that other people would understand:D