Saturday, June 30, 2007

As always is it hard to start writing. Feeling that there is nothing to write, but knowing that there is a whole world just waiting to be discovered....

I have to be careful now. July is already here. And it will go fast and soon it will be august... Still no progress in determining what I want to write about. Feels almost impossible to get how one starts something that can go further than just a couple of pages or three. How do you determine what you want to write about?

How do you go about finding the path? How to you find the heart of a story? How do you track it down...

Can I ever really believe anything... Sometimes I watch myself from the outside. I see someone who is trying, but are still afraid. When it really matters, she gets frightened and creep back into the shadows. I don't want to be that girl anymore, that frightened girl who is scared of herself and all the passion she feels. I am tired of denying myself life. It's what I have done for so long. "Come out, come out, whoever you are." (Watching Queen of the Damned or something... Adapted from some Anne Rice book, with the Aragorn that got fired, thank goodness. Sorta clouds my mind a little bit, with vampires and all, making me a little dark, he he;))

The darkening of the mind. Melancholy. Shadows and darkness... Fun))
But yet I cannot completely grasp it either... I guess it is duality. Light and darkness; good and evil... One can't exist without the other...

The darkening...
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2 comments:

Sheri said...

I haven't written. I keep procrastinating. . . or at least I clean instead.
What are you most inspired by? I would find that. Think about it (why, etc) and then I would sit down to write. Write honestly, but you might be inspired to write something that means something to you. Because if you are inspired in the first place, it means there is something there you can learn from. . .
At least I think I'd like to do something like that. The problem with cleaning is while I'm cleaning, I have no real work space that I feel comfortable in. I guess I have to make room, even if it's temporary.
Accepting the duality is good)))
I keep waiting for something that is right. . . It's like I was cleaning today and I moved my bookcase. I thought it might balance the room out if I had it on the other side of my bed. After I moved it, I stood back and just looked at it, disgusted because it didn't look right. ;) Perfectionism. I spend so much time figuring out what I want to do and then when I just do it, I hate it. Just because it isn't exactly the way I want it. Who the hell cares if the book case is on one side or the other? I mean, really? I do it with everything and it's just so stupid. Anyways, I have no idea why I started to tell you that. . . I know there was a point to that. I promise. Think really hard and you'll find a connection. . . hehe. . .

12:31 AM
Sheri said...

Oh, I think it had to do with how we (or at least I) have so much trouble starting to write because we wait for the perfect thing to come by.
And it's stupid. Sometimes. Not all the time, but most of the time. Because half of the fun is just doing it with love and honesty and exploring it as you're there.
When we are, say, 80, what would we wish to see? That we plunged into projects with full passion and love? Or that we waited for it to be perfect?
Maybe we need to do a little of both. Be a little contemplative and a little spontaneous.
What I mean is that at this time of our lives we need to start taking more plunges!!! It's like learning how to swim. Contemplation is only good for a few minutes so that you gather your bearings. When you've had enough, even when the fear tells you you haven't, you take the plunge and keep trying until you get it.
I think we both like a challenge. So let's make the most of a plunge this summer. ;)
Talk to you later. . . miss ya. . .

12:38 AM

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