It is so easy to fall down into the bottom of the pit. It is a lot of hard work to change the way I think. To start believing in myself again after all the doubt I have experienced. To start believing that I can really make my dreams come true. But it is still a long way to go. I am not stabilized yet.

I know it's not unusual to doubt yourself. Unfortunately, I think many people manifest it in trying to be better than other people, instead of looking within and seeing that you are good enough in what you are. I don't want to fall into that trap. I want to know that everything comes from me, that the foundation stands on solid ground, and that I build the foundation of a solid material that will last throughout my entire life. I have seen what it can do when you doubt yourself. How that person has no eyes going inwards, always outwards and pointing fingers and feeling so sorry for herself.

I don't know... Feels like nothing is making sense. Just emptiness in every word, or so it seems. Like I am repeating myself. Guess I should stop. Tired, headache, having the first day of my period, not getting good sleep, and spend the last six hours sneezing. And now complaining:)