Just sent an angry email to the tv company that is sending So you think you can dance? All of a sudden they have begun to cutting the show, and dropping out dancers and the group dance... I am to put it mildly pissed:)

Anyways...It's almost impossible to get my head into the mood of writing now. All I can think about is bed. And it's just a quarter past 11! Yes, I have been at pilates and yoga class today, and I walked to and from classes. But it was beautiful sunny weather today, and warm enough for me to go in a t-shirt, so I shouldn't really complain. It has been a good day.

And I managed to write yesterday as well. Eight whole pages.There is a lot about how it feels to sit down to write and how I feel (you know, get rid of the junk), but I thought I would try to bring something else to the paper too. I usually put on my MP3 player when I write. I like getting the music straight into me, so to speak. And I started listening to a song from the first Narnia soundtrack, and I thought, yes, I want to listen to some of the song from that soundtrack, because it had the mood I wanted in a way, so I did. Just to try to get out of the junky talk. I programmed Evacuating London, The Wardrobe, Lucy meets Mr. Tumnus, and From Western Woods to Beaversdam. They conveyed the exact mood I wanted:)

The wonderment of images that float by. I can only accept them. The need to create stories is as strong as it's ever been before. The flickering of my candle puts me in touch with my imagination as does the music I listen to, and the night outside my window.

It's all about the wonderment, about seeing something for the first time and not labelling it. Finding the curiosity that makes each step light and doesn't weight me down. Like wandering through a forest. The tall trees, heavily crowned with leaves that shimmer the light above down on me. It makes me feel happy. Joyous even. Leaving me with a feeling of coming home.

If I close my eyes I can see myself there. I can hear the laughter of children running through the forest, with arms stretched out like they are taking flight. The beauty of innocence, still able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. It reminds me of how often I want to do the same when I walk among people. How beautiful the clouds are up there high above our heads. Have you looked at the clouds lately? How they are never the same? Look at that particular cloud! It's getting dark and it's almost black. But underneath a faint ruby colour is still visible. In a minute it will be gone. Forgotten. And the sunset. What if it was the last sunset ever? How many would have missed it?

I am thinking about trying the same thing tonight, just to see if I can capture something. Repeat it over and over again (I know I want grow tired of that music no matter how many times I listen:)) You know, I had a little moment of pure joy today:) After the classes, me and Marianne walked down to a cafe and we sat there in the sun, drinking coffee. It felt that for a moment, life stood still. I was in the now, living at that exact moment, no thoughts of past or future, just enjoying that sun in my face. It was nice)))