Restless

I have been restless today. Not able to do anything, not really wanting to write any slug. It's the kind of restless where you think you should do anything, but get nothing done at all. I have been going back and forth to the computer without being able to do anything. Smoking way too much. Not being able to eat much. Having some lasagn in the micro now. Have to force myself to eat. I am suspecting it will grow in my mouth:)

No reason for these days though. Just have to let them pass and think there is another day tomorrow. I went up in the attic today. Brought down lots of books about art history, history and religion. And The Seat of the Soul. Have to find out what Gary Zukav says about intention. Might be a valuable lesson in there. That's about all I've done today))) Taking more books down to already full bookshelves:) I did take some up too))

I think I get this restless when I feel that I don't have control, or when things get out of control, when I feel like I am wasting my time and that there are something else I should be done, or that I should be doing things different. I usually have some sort of system in what I am doing, but when I feel that it is slipping or that I should be changing it, I get restless. Almost like after I cleaned and I felt like all the things I used to have a system over (no matter how chaotic), had gone. There are so many things I want to do, but I don't know how to do them all at once;) Or rather I know I can't do them all at once, and I get frustrated because I cannot decide which one I want to do or which ones to leave alone... Then I get restless and frustrated...