Wander

I have come to a turning point
And yet I don't know what I am turning from
I walk in circles
and finding that I am getting nowhere at all
This endlessness
Thing nothingness
Is something more than meaning
I have no idea
of what to do
but I will do it all the same
I will walk and wander off
on this journey I have begun
I will wander into the mind
and wander into the soul
I will wander into the dark
and seek the treasures I will find there

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I am walking around, lost
disappearing into the dark again
Fading into grey,
into the nothingness of my own despair

Your words have hurt me again,
cutting my wounds wide open…
You pull at my chains again
They strangle me
and I choke on my frustration

I try to run away
but I find that I have run right back
to where it all started
and I find no comfort there,
only a cold and painful hatred…
Of everything I have become today

I know you must hate yourself
and maybe that’s why you hate me as well…
The chains are cutting deep into my flesh
until I can’t see anything but the pain…
The tears burn in my eyes,
your words burn my heart into a pile
of ash that the wind carries far away
from these streets that are lifeless…

Memories of dreams I used to dream,
but now lies empty and barren in front of me…
I am walking around, lost
disappearing into the dark again…

The Battle for Hope

There are battles to be fought…
Some cannot be fought without a sword,
and some of them are fought within.
The Heart raises its sword against the Ego,
cut deep wounds in the flesh.


Tears of agony and pain,
a cry of pure despair and frustration.
And then, in the darkest moment,
a path of light and the purest colours appear.
It leads to a heavenly sphere,
somewhere you never thought you’d find yourself.


But the cross-roads are many
and temptation keeps you on call.
A clear vision of something you never thought you’d know.
Darkness stir your inner most fear,
draws life right out of your soul.


Loneliness seems to be your closest friend.
If you could only find the light again,
that soft whisper and strength of love once more…
And the battle rages on and on…
Endlessly it seems,
lost in advance…


But deep within your heart,
there is a little and faint flame burning.
If you could find it,
and hold on to it…
That is when you give light a meaning.
That is when you light the flame of hope…

Fragments

on the muddy ground
there are fragments
lying scattered
all around

pieces that I need to find
to make the black hole
disappear
nothingness fills me
from within
an indefinable place
where darkness lurks

there is nothing left
there is no peace
for the restless mind

I search for some reason
for something
to take away this fall from grace

when I crash and stumble
on these fragments
that I thought I had left behind
one by one
they are slowly put back together
and reveal a deadly face

I am haunted by these memories
of the ghost I call the past…

Like a Boat on the River

In a dream I saw myself floating by
in a boat on a river
always searching for somewhere
I could find a safe harbour
for all that I am.

I searched every part of the riverside,
but I could not stop the drifting,
I was too restless…

Silently I watched my reflection
in the mirror of the river.
I saw the lines of sorrow etched there,
eyes staring back at me,
blaming me for letting things
get so out of control.

These dreams that I had to let go,
all the hopes that I have abandoned,
kept me here…

For love knows no boundaries,
it has no face.
Where I should have loved myself,
I ended up hating instead.
All the pain that I kept hidden inside,
all the despair that never found a way to escape.

Now when do these emotions stop
running away with me?
When will it stop…

While I am so caught up in the hurt,
life seems to pass me by.
The river of dreams,
kept safe by the light of hope in a world
that still exists beyond all reason,
beyond all doubts…

And I never realized that the river
was the home I have searched for all my life:
The home for my wild heart…