Restless as usual

I think I need to free my mind a bit more than it is now. To believe that the fantastical can be real... at least in a book if nothing else.

It is well and good to sit down and talk about what I would like, but it was things thing then... Not to just write about things... I can do that to the day that I die really...

I guess I should just try something really. Not think about where it should go, just try to get into the something. I feel like I am repeating myself over and over again, like I have been writing this before, that it is a vicious cycle that I am going through... How to get out of it. Try it again. And again and again if I have to.

I just feel restless again. It is like I am walking around outside a wall and want to go to the inside of this freaking stupid wall, and the more I circle around it the more frustrated and restless I guess. Like it is something that I can sense, but cannot reach. It gets like that some days... And today is one of them.