Weather and Vincent and some salty water

My goodness how time flies. I can't believe that it is Semptember already! Where did this summer go? Unbelievably sad in a way, but autumn is good too. It's just that it has been raining all summer, and so with autumn here, it kinda feels like we have been cheated out of any warmth before going into winter again... The sun is important because the sunlight gives energy to us that we need... We have had maybe ten days of intense heat in June, when I started the expert course, almost dying in the classroom, and when my summer holiday the bad weather started... Rain rain rain... The only positive thing was that I could stay indoors with a good conscience:)

Oh well, all the talk of the weather just goes to prove that we humans would be completely lost if we didn't have the weather to talk about..........

I've just flushed my nose with salted water. It is a strange sensation I tell you. Somehow, I managed to see something on the instructions that was not there and I ended up getting the first flowing of the water through my mouth... Before I realized that it was rather stupid to cover both nostrils... Really stupid... It does help a little... But it gets blocked quite fast again, but I think if I stick to it, then it will get better and better. I am definitely going to give it a try for a few weeks. It takes a couple of minutes and I love to "breathe the free air again"; if only for a moment.

What a gripping life I do lead eh:)

I am still trying to adjust getting up in the morning. I am so tired!! I can sleep alright, but still I am tired. But I am proud of myself for not oversleeping at all since I started. A couple of times I have had to take a train later (15 minutes), but that only means I get there like a couple of minutes past 9, which is late, but not that late. Acceptably late if you ask me:)

I am wondering when the energy will come:) Seems like it is nowhere to be found. I think I must change my eating habits. I should definitely eat breakfast!! But if I wake up at a quarter to eight and I have to get out the door around 30 minutes later, how do you eat breakfast? I don't... I am starting to go to the school every day now. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, is course days. And Tuesday and Thursday are study days. I have decided to leave my books there and keep everything with computers and studying there, so that when I am home I can do everything that I like to do without feeling bad about not reading. I did it this weekend and it was great, because every time I thought about having to read, I said to myself that I would do it when the weekdays came. I could just relax and try to concentrate on the other things that I wanted to do.

I am still adjusting my life to being busy during the day, and I have not gotten into any kind of rhythm and my writing has suffered for it. But it is not like I have stopped altogether. I am just not writing that much anymore. I have to get everything together, and try to fit it into a somewhat more busy schedule that this summer. But I know it has not disappeared at all.

Still reading/writing about Vincent van Gogh. He too struggled with acceptance from his family (his father being a minister and wanting Vincent to be one as well). He had bad arguments with his father when he became an artist. Vincent actually only worked as a painter for ten years. He went around and didn't know what to do for a long time. He was an art dealer, a student of theology, I think he worked in a school, he worked in a bookstore for a short time, and was bewildered. I haven't read about the year he decided to be an artist yet. But his love of nature and of art was there all along. I think it was just a matter of finding his calling in a way. Just like we are doing still... You know, finding the strength to actually admitting for real that this is the only thing that will make us happy. I am also convinced that he had a manic depressive disorder. He was really depressed at times, then he had these productive periods when he could paint a picture a day! What amazes me the most is how completely different I view him after "getting to know" him a little bit better than just from what the popular "myths" about him says. Like the ear incidence. I have always heard that he cut the piece of his ear off because of a girl, but in fact it was because of Gauguin and his frustration over his stay not being what Vincent wanted it to be. He did send the piece to a girl though))) In a comical and bizarre way, kind of funny:))

I have still a lot to go through with the letters, trying to work as hard as I can with them. Not quite feeling that I have gotten to the bottom of why I was drawn to him yet, but I am getting there. He as a person has become a part of me now, and also him as an artist, maybe not always what he painted but how)) Looking forward to learning even more. Have to remember to re-rent the books before tuesday)))