Lyrics to Vincent

It is breaktime now. I am so tired, I can hardly concentrate about anything else than staring blindly at the screen.

Much later in the day. One hour left and I wanted to write the lyrics to Vincent (starry, starry night):

Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they'll listen now

Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Chorus:
For they could not love you, but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met, the ragged man in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will.

Hard to start

It was harder to start than I thought it would be. I was so tired all day. My legs were so heavy as were my eyelids... It felt like I had to drag myself up the stairs today. It adjustment is taking some time))) But I am learning new stuff about Word which is really useful in how to make writing easier!! Like when making contents of a paper or a book like in two seconds!! I like that))) It does contains many things I don't know))) But one thing I did know about was footnotes;)) Since I had had some experience using them when I wrote about Gothic art)))

I am going to bed now to sleep))) It sounds so good to lay my head on the pillow and just drift away into dreamland)))

Summary

It will be absolutely divine to go back to "ordinary" life again. You know, taking the course and feeling that I am moving forward again. The difference is of course that now I have taken writing with me. I am ready for everything to move forward. This summer has been both good and bad.

I had set three goals. But I only managed to do one of them. Writing. I wanted to write a hundred pages, and I have done so. So I guess I should be pleased. And I am. I truly am. Nothing is better than feeling unstuck on some part of your life. Right now I heard Bilbo's words in my head: "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure." And I guess I am. I feel that writing is about to take another turn, and I have no idea of where it will lead me. But I don't care. I am just waiting to see where it will go. Because I am ready for another adventure! Yeah!! *Clapping hands madly*

I bet many of my blogs will be filled with writing. Perhaps some of what I write, but alot of pondering about what I feel when I write. I will just write whatever comes to mind. I have different kinds of writing. This blog, my daily pages, and hopefully getting down to ideas about what I want to write. Oh, and I almost forgot...:) Letters... Maybe seriously think about writing more poems and shorter kinds of stuff. I am just looking forward to growing as a writer. I am just going to learn to go with the flow.

To think that it is only just after midnight and I am actually preparing for bed. I must say that I am a little nervous about if I am going to be able to get up tomorrow morning... I mean I slept for the entire course period today... Kind of strange to think that I will get home about an hour and a half after I got up this morning... lol. I will probably be sooo tired tomorrow morning. Or maybe I won't because I will be so excited to get back and to see the new faces that are joining the course... But I will be dead tired on Wednesday instead because the drive that anticipation gives you wear out pretty quickly... If there isn't this really cute boy in the course that will be absolutely worth coming for:) But I have my doubts about that. But there is still hope. Even though it will be crushed tomorrow))) I guess hope and crushed are a bit strong in this sense;) I won't die or anything.

I am beginning to feel like Bridget... The old mad spinster:) But I guess we have a lot to learn from dear Bridget... Talking about learning from someone... Still not quite sure what Vincent van Gogh has to tell me... The letters from the first chapter isn't really revealing anything, but I will continue. Should probably just a little forward in the book. That is what the gut feeling is telling me... So I probably should. After he decides to become an artist or something... In July of 1879... I should probably see about beginning there, but it seems so unfair to his earlier life as an art dealer and such:) I don't know... Kind of fun to see how his thoughts develop around art too, and what the man has to say. But one things for sure. I have developed a great compassion for the man Vincent:) And I am still so thrilled about finding out more about him. And I will probably continue to write about it in blogs...

Poem to the Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh

Thought I write the poem I wrote last Friday here...

He lived with his torment
He sensed his dismay
He lived with his colours
He looked around
and saw the world with new eyes
Like he knew it wouldn't last
that his sanity would take hold
Bold strokes of colour
The night sky took the canvas
The town was asleep
as he escaped into his world
Down there he was a stranger
Out here he was alive
He could forget about his illness
as he gazed upon the stars
His life has passed with sadness
but the moment is still alive

Vincent van Gogh

This has been the week for "signs" about Van Gogh. It began last Sunday when I watched this BBC program called Power of Art that was about van Gogh. It of course made it so much better with Andy Serkis playing van Gogh. But there was nothing special about it. Only a good program about a good artist.

Then last Tuesday in Medium, Allison dreamed about van Gogh. Thought it was a little funny then. And I thought that she had it wrong, because she dreamt he put a gun to his head, and in the Power of Art program he said he shot himself in the chest... That was really all that went through my mind at that stage.

Then on Friday, of all the pages in Art through the Ages, you picked the pages where Starry Night was!! Now it felt a little strange. But I wrote a good poem.

Then on Saturday, I saw a painting by van Gogh in a movie. No idea what movie it was, but I was switching from channels to channels. Now I really thought it must be a sign of some sort. And I made up my mind yesterday when I heard the song Starry, starry night (this version sung by Josh Groban). I thought, now this I cannot deny anymore. It is too strange to be coincidence. Tomorrow I will go to the library and find some books about Vincent van Gogh and see what it has to show me.

And so today I did and how three books with me home, two biographies and one novel. And I went into a book store to see if they had any notebooks on sale. And don't you think I found a notebook with von Dutch on the cover!! It cannot get any clearer than that!! Now all I have to find out is what the heck is being said about this. How it is suppose to connect to my life. Am I suppose to write something about Vincent or is it something about his life that can be inspirational for my own life? That is something I have to find out I guess... One of the books is the letters of Vincent, mostly to his brother Theo I think. Just barely flipped through it...

The Day

It's so funny, because as you might see, the question about the guides I talked about is now resolved. They are personal guides:) Funny how my reasoning was kind of right... Well, I might have read it somewhere too. I can't remember.

Tomorrow is my death day. The day when we buried my grandfather and the day Hans Christian were murdered. I should probably say died though... Not so dramatic. It's already been 12 years!! Twelve years ago my life changed. Or rather my perception of it. The way I had to either accept that I was completely crazy or that there were more to this world than what we could sense with our senses. I guess that when I really became what Gary Zukav called a multi-sensory human being:)

So I guess it is both a death and a life day really))) Because it did give me a broader view of life. The strange thing is that we buried my grandfather on that day that meant so much too me from before... Coincidence or not? It is said that there are no coincidences in this world...